For Chiara

There are those times when we need to defend our ideals. But not everyone has great communications skills. Some have problems articulating what they need to say. Others are easily flustered when in a conflictual situation. That’s why it’s necessary to learn how to defend your ideals by developing a few basic communication skills.

Around the time of the last 2024 presidential debate, it was necessary that I have a serious discussion with an alpha male. I’d already learned some years before that, when discussing with a man about something important, it’s necessary not to cry and/or raise your voice. It’s also important to moderate the pace and tone. Because to see a woman calm and in control freaks men out and will get their attention.

So, using the info I already had combined with what I’d seen from Kàmala, I was ready to present my case. And it went magnificently. That’s why I’d like to share with you what I’ve learned:

Preparation is fundamental. If you must have an important “discussion”, write it out first. Writing is important because it forces us to articulate an idea. When we think about something, we do so in a very abstract way. Just because we have feelings does not mean we know how to express them. That’s why when we finally have a chance to speak our mind, we often fumble and then feel like fools. Preparation can tremendously help here.

Write it out and then be the editor of your own words. Narrow down what you have to say to just a few points. Simplify the language as much as possible. It will have more impact and will be easier for you to remember what it is you need to say.

Polititians, even those with years of experience, use teleprompters. If you easily become emotional, why not take your notes with you.

Set the mood. Be assertive but not aggressive.

Men have claimed for centuries that women are too emotional to oversee anything. But we have seen, especially in recent years, that it’s generally the opposite that’s true.

A face can say a thousand words. Learn to use the power of facial expression. Words are not as powerful as hard-core eye contact at the right moment.

(see my post Facial Expressions)

Know those words that will distract and disorientate your listener. Words that will impose themselves so strongly on his ego that he will have difficulties contradicting you. Because all his psychic energy will be aimed towards disclaiming what you’ve said.

Kàmala’s trigger words were “rally size”.

After you’ve presented your “speech”, excuse yourself and politely walk away. No lingering allowed. You’ve said what you had to say and now “The quieter you become, the more you can be heard.” Rumi

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