The Narrative Within

Dolly’s Fortress

Posted on August 29, 2026 by Art for Housewives

We are living in the Age of Dehumanization where respect for one’s dignity and integrity has been obliterated. It’s a world that has become hostile and alienating leaving many of us feeling overwhelmed and impotent. So what can we do?

Marcus Aurelius (121–180 AD) wrote that there is no safer refuge to retreat to than one’s own soul, the Fortress Within. Because inside your fortress, outside events can’t harm your core unless you open the door to let them in. Once you realize that you have power over your mind but not over outside events, continues Aurelius, you will find your strength. True freedom comes not from changing the world around you but from fortifying your inner space.

To construct an inner fortress, it’s important to discipline our emotional responses. In “Meditations” (Book 8, 48), Aurelius writes that “the mind without passions is a fortress; no place is more secure.” By passions he means destructive emotions such as anger, hatred, envy, and despair that can overpower reason because “it’s not events that upset us but our opinions about them.”

A good approach towards this self-discipline is learning to pause after you’ve been emotionally triggered. During this pause, switch from automatic to autonomous, from emotional to rational thinking, before reacting. When you’ve learned to do this, all you have to do when the world gets too crazy and chaotic is seek refuge in your inner fortress where you are the one in control.

“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts” says Aurelius. But where do these thoughts come from? Immanuel Kant tells us to “have the courage to use your own understanding”. Many people, writes Kant, are victims of self-imposed immaturity because they stay mentally dependent on others not because they lack intelligence but because they lack the resolve to think without a guide. Thinking for yourself requires the courage to ask questions so you can come to your own conclusions.

Thoughts are building blocks. The better quality of thoughts you construct with, the stronger your fortress will be.

We have the power to eliminate many superfluous troubles simply by editing our thoughts. This will also give us more space for personal reflection. Because each one of us needs to find our place in the universe.

“Find out who you are then do it on purpose.” Dolly Parton

Since her death, I’ve watched several Dolly Parton videos. The more videos I saw, the more I said to myself: if anyone knew how to create a Fortress Within, it was Dolly.

Dolly was born in rural Tennessee. Her dad was a sharecropper and the family was poor. She was one of 12 siblings so momma, Avie Lee, was busy but never too busy to sing. Avie Lee’s dad was a Pentecostal preacher and the kids were in church on Sundays. It was here that Dolly first performed. It was here that Dolly began constructing her fortress.

Because, as seen with the women of Gee’s Bend, singing at church gatherings helps develop feelings of self-affirmation. And the more Dolly sang, the more she understood who she was and where her place in the world was.

Although money poor, the Parton family was not love poor. Nevertheless, love won’t keep you warm in the winter. Dolly didn’t have a coat so her mom took some fabric scraps she’d been given and made Dolly a coat. While sewing on the coat, Avie Lee told Dolly the biblical story of how Jacob had given his son Joseph a coat of many colors (Genesis 37:11). Dolly felt really special because she, too, now had a coat like someone from the Bible and proudly wore it to school. But when her classmates made fun of her coat, Dolly couldn’t understand why. She told her classmates of how every stitch had been sewn with her mother’s love making her coat of many colors worth more than all their clothes put together. “But they didn’t understand it and I tried to make them see, that one is only poor only if they choose to be.”

Dolly didn’t let the external world decide who she was because, thanks to her Fortress Within, she decided for herself.

Dolly often talked about how she and her family lived in the country but would occasionally go into town. Here, on one of her rare contacts with the outside world, Dolly saw a woman with puffed up blonde hair, big breasts, red lips, red nails, high heel shoes, and a tight dress. Dolly thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world and told her mom so. Her mom’s response was “she’s trash”. But that didn’t keep Dolly from thinking the woman was beautiful and that she wanted to be “trash”, too. And that explains Dolly’s fashion style. Years later, Dolly was interviewed by Barbara Walters. Walters was very condescending and asked Dolly questions like “When I think of hillbillies, am I thinking of your kind of people?”, “Don’t you ever feel that you’re a joke?” and “You’re so beautiful. You don’t have to look like this.” Dolly, despite Walter’s nastiness, didn’t lose her cool. She told Walters that she knew exactly what she was doing. And that she was sure of herself and of her talent. Furthermore, continued Dolly, “I don’t like to be like everyone else. I would never stoop so low as to be fashionable because that’s the easiest thing in the world to do.” Boom.

In all the videos I’ve seen related to her, I’ve never seen Dolly get defensive or snarky. You know why? Because her inner citadel was well nourished and strong. Dolly’s power was that she stayed close to her core.

How we see ourselves influences so many of the choices that we make. Dolly saw herself as a star and became one.

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It’s become increasingly more difficult for me to integrate my vibes with those of internet and technology. I am bothered by: the constant “updates” that throw my routine out of whack, the lack of an alternative to Photoshop forcing me to “edit” images with an iPhone, the continual push towards AI and all its evils, the ALT TEXT that doesn’t help the visually impaired as much as it does AI grifting, and the payments for an internet connection that has difficulties connecting.

Know Thyself + Marcus Aurelius (121 AD – 180 AD) + Diary Writing and other Spiritual Practices

making is it’s own reward +

Dolly Parton Shuts Down Patronising Interview In Style + What Would Dolly Do?… Emotion, Discipline and Dolly Parton

“We’re all pieces of God and we all have that little God light inside of us.” Dolly Parton

Posted in Books, female consciousness, People, storytelling | Tagged Age of Dehumanization, Dolly Parton, Fortress Within, Immanuel Kant, Marcus Aurelius | Leave a comment

Pruned

Posted on August 15, 2026 by Art for Housewives

I pruned our bougainvillea. Now I can spy on our neighbor’s red and white umbrella that often dances with the wind.

Greece, today, celebrates the Feast of the Dormition of the Virgin Mary. It’s a major holiday so there will be music and food. There will also be a procession and the Virgin Mary icon from the Church of 100 Doors will be transported to the Church of Zoodochou Pigis that faces the beach of Kato Yialo. So Mary will now have a view of the sea.

Posted in Beauty, Daily Aesthetics, Paros, Uncategorized | Tagged August 15, Dormition of the Virgin Mary, Pruning, umbrella | 2 Comments

Meteoropathy

Posted on August 14, 2026 by Art for Housewives

The wind not only changes my mood, it also changes my look. Breezes are fine because they’re like sweet caresses. But the wind is something else. It creates a sensory overload and makes me feel I’ve no control over what’s around me.

Some theorize that the wind mixes up the ions in the air. And this provokes a drop in serotonin. So it’s best if I just stay inside.

Posted in Beauty, female consciousness | Tagged coiffeur, meteoropathy, mood, serotonin, wind | 2 Comments

Gateway

Posted on July 27, 2026 by Art for Housewives

my neighbor’s entrance

Posted in Beauty, Paros, Plants & Gardening | Tagged Bougainvillea, hybiscus | 7 Comments

making is it’s own reward

Posted on July 11, 2026 by Art for Housewives

Mr. Wolf calls me a magical thinker. Because magical thinkers believe that thoughts can influence external events. But maybe I’m really a stoic like Marcus Aurelius who said that you are your thoughts. And this I truly believe. I also believe that memories can also be magical depending on how they’re remembered. Because the way something is remembered is what that something will become.

“Balcony Curtains” Via making huipiles on Paros

Many years ago, I put up balcony curtains to create intimacy and protection from curious neighbors. They were not particularly pretty—orange, brown, and beige stripes—but they did their job. Eventually we replaced the curtains with a trellis. The curtains were then recycled as part of the awning for the terrace pergola. But then the pergola came down and so did the awning. And the curtains became part of my fabric stash. A couple of years ago I came across the old curtains. I remembered how they looked hanging on the balcony and the vision filled me with a pleasant sensation. So, I thought, why not repurpose them and keep that pleasant sensation alive. Magical thinking?

“Terrace Awning” Via The Aesthetics of Transformation

Magical implies a relationship with magic which, according to the dictionary, is “the use of supernatural powers over natural forces”. And that’s what hand sewing is for me. Because, when I start working with my hands, the repetition of movement changes the rhythm of my heartbeat and the frequency of my brainwaves. And I start to flow. Focusing my attention on stitching helps distance me from the world around me. Sewing is magical as it gives me the power to reconnect with myself.

Current events have thrown my biorhythms out of whack and are imposing themselves on my psyche. It can be very debilitating. To return to my core, I sew.

Right before the Civil War, captives from Africa were brought to Alabama despite the ban on trans-Atlantic slave trade. These Africans were not only brutally deprived of their home and of their freedom, but their culture and traditions were mutilated by colonization and enslavement as well.

Southwest of Selma, Alabama, there’s an African-American community known as Gee’s Bend where, following the Civil War and emancipation, sharecropping was initiated. Landowners allowed previously enslaved farmers to continue to cultivate the land but the farmers only received a portion of the crops they harvested. This arrangement was disadvantageous for the farmers but they really had no other options.

Gee’s Bend was in Wilcox County that was c. 80% African American and c. 60% of these citizens were living below the poverty level. Although Gee’s Bend was isolated and economically depressed, there was a very strong community sustained by the local Baptist church. The church provided the opportunity to gather together and unite in spirit. Making music and singing was important for these gatherings as it’s a form of self-affirmation.

Quilt making is also a form of self-affirmation. And African-American women had a tradition of quilt making. But in the 1960s, quilt making had another importance for Gee’s Bend. In 1966, the ladies of Gee’s Bend created the “Freedom Quilting Bee” intended to help sustain local blacks who’d lost their jobs simply because they’d registered to vote during the 1960s civil rights struggle.

In 1967, Lee Krasner, abstract artist and wife of Jackson Pollock, was visiting Alabama where she was told about the magnificent quilts of Gee’s Bend that were part of the Freedom Quilting Bee. After seeing them, Lee was amazed by their beauty and their simple sophistication. Not only did she buy a few quilts, but, once back in NYC, she actively promoted them. Diana Vreeland was enthusiastic as well and saw them as high art as did designer Ray Eames.

For the ladies of Gee’s Bend, making quilts was a means of keeping their family warm at night and of earning an income. But, by working with their hands, making quilts was also a means of creating an inner sanctuary.

“When humans began walking upright, everything changed. It freed the hands so humans could now reach out and grab something and hold it. The capacity to pick something up increased our ability to closely observe the world around us. Hands helped the brain to evolve.

Hands permitted humans to touch one another and create intimacy. This helped emotions to evolve.

Hands help us accomplish things. They can help create new mental pathways because making things requires sequential thought and logic. Thus, hands help connect the mind with the body.

Making is a form of meditation because focused attention and repeated motion send our brainwave frequencies into theta, just like meditation. So why not make something?” Via In Praise of Hands

Creating something from nothing is the world’s primary survival strategy. “Learning to make a quilt for a girl meant becoming a woman as the quilt symbolized practicality and survival, an acquirred knowledge of recycling and reuse.”

The ladies of Gee’s Bend created in isolation and were not worried about an outsider’s opinion. Maybe that’s why their quilts are so beautiful and audacious. In an oppressive society, these women found freedom in their quilt making.

These photos are from the book “The Quilts of Gee’s Bend” listed in the bibliography below.

Within us all is the need for individual expression. We need it for our spiritual survival. Piecing the quilt was a quiltmaker’s only private time. One quilter said, “sewing at home gave me peace of mind and a challenge”. Another quilter said that sewing was a means of keeping the mind together. Many of the quilters worked in the fields and were worn out at the end of the day. But on the walk home, they had something to give them energy—thinking about new patterns for their quilts.

The trading and sharing of fabrics and patterns created even more synergy between the women. But the need to maintain a sense of self was important. The motto was “Piece by yourself. Quilt together.”

”In the quilting bee time, I started using patterns but I shouldn’t have. It broke the ideas I had in my head. I should have stayed with my own ideas.” Nettie Young

In my mom’s cluttered kitchen, was a decorative sign she probably got with S&H Green Stamps. It showed a cornucopia with fruit and a dove overhead with a ribbon in its mouth. Written on this ribbon was the phrase “Virtue is its own reward.” Although the sign had been hanging for several years, I didn’t take much notice of it. I understood the words but didn’t have a real grasp on their meaning. One day, many years later while I was living on the other side of the Atlantic, out of the blue I started thinking about this sign. Suddenly, it had a significance for me it hadn’t had before.

The quote has been attributed to Cicero (106 BC-43 BC), Roman statesman and orator. With this Cicero wanted to say that the value of virtuous behavior exists within the act itself. Because righteousness carries its own intrinsic satisfaction, you shouldn’t expect a reward for it.

After the assassination of Julius Caesar in 44 BC, Cicero led an attack against Mark Antony. Unfortunately, this led to Cicero’s execution. His hands and head were severed and then displayed to show everyone what the consequences were for going against Mark Antony. Nevertheless, Cicero’s body may have been destroyed but his ideas survived via his writings.

Not only is virtue its own reward but so is artmaking. As stated previously, the true value of Gee’s Bend quilts was the feeling the ladies had while making them. Although the quilts helped keep the family warm and their sales put food on the table, the real value of these quilts was how they helped their makers stay close to their core by giving them that private space they needed.

So inspired by these ladies, I tried transforming my old balcony curtain into what I will call A Memory Cloth as each scrap of cloth has its own story to tell.