It’s Sunday morning but all mornings now seem like Sunday…no one outside, no noise, no shops opened. Nothing but lockdown.
The days continue to glide one into the other.
It would seem that by now I would have finished many books, diligently studied Greek, completed accumulated sewing projects, etc. But no. It’s as if I’m continually distracted and can’t focus on anything except the new reality, a prison without bars. We’ve been sentenced inside but without knowing for how long. The concept of future has been postponed indefinitely.
“Curglaff” is an archaic Scottish word for the feeling of shock experienced with plunging into cold water, a word I can related to as it always takes me a while to convince myself to go into the sea. Being sensitive to change, the icy sensation on my back makes me scream. But once the shock is over, I’m okay. My body adjusts to the extreme change and I can tranquilly swim around. Then, once back on the beach, I sit in the sun at look at the horizon . There is something very magical yet comforting about it. A horizon line makes the world seem bigger and helps me understand that there’s more to life than only my personal worldview. But, for the moment, there are no horizons. Just walls.
Please do not feel that I am slumping into depression and/or resignation with these words. I am simply trying to adapt. It’s a curglaff-coronavirus moment as I am trying to adjust, mentally, to the knowledge that the world as I’ve known it no longer exists.
After weeks of lockdown, people here in Italy are starting to get nervous not just about staying inside, but about not having enough money to buy food. So yesterday evening, Primer Giuseppe Conte, announced on TV that emergency measures were being taken to ensure that everyone had something to eat. The shock of hunger is not to be ignored.
Italians have style in more ways than one. To help out, Armani is making medical smocks, Ferrari is making ventilators, Bulgari is making hand disinfectant, and Gucci is making protective masks.
Dear Cynthia, I do thank you for your honesty. I was so mad at me. Telling me everyday, whats the matter with you CM, you always wanted to have time to do this and that, and now look at you. Doing nothing at all, or just from one thing to another, without completing anything. I realize that I was in shock, unable to “digest” something so big. As I read your post I felt comforted of not being the only one. Best wishes. And thank you again.
Ciao Cristina, please don’t be angry with yourself. You and I are simply having a normal reaction to an overwhelming situation. Those who are not reacting are the ones to worry about. Besitos