When I was a small girl, it wasn’t a fashionable place to go. Maybe that’s why we went. One muggy summer morning, my mom packed up the car and drove us to Rockport with its beige colored sand, wobbly fishing piers, and numerous seafood diners.
On the beach I collected buckets of sand to build a castle. Once it was finished, I watched in awe as the waves came in and swept it away. But I didn’t care—it wasn’t the castle that had made me happy. It was making it that had given me a thrill.
Today I feel like making castles.
(from My Imaginary Diary)
The pandemic has criminalized hugs but not our need for them. When we hug, we release oxytocin, a hormone that helps us bond with others. Bonding is important—it’s like a glue that can keep you intact when you’re about to crumble. But if you’re alone, best grab for a pillow.
“Hugs strengthen the immune system [Oxytocin helps reduce blood pressure and stress hormones].The gentle pressure on the sternum and the emotional charge this creates activates the Solar Plexus Chakra. This stimulates the thymus gland, which regulates and balances the body’s production of white blood cells, which keep you healthy and disease free.”
Lately I’ve been spending more time than usual in the bathtub. I slide deep down into the tub so that the water can cover me with its warmth then try to float–mentally of course. Because when you float, you let the water carry your weight and everything else seems lighter.
Some thoughts are so heavy I could drown.
My mom’s in a hospital that’s far away. This makes it difficult for me to focus on anything. But, to turn down the volume of my thoughts, I needed to move my hands. So I mended a potholder.