Decluttering

Mutual friends had introduced us. Edith Wharton was in Rome and we were having tea at Babington’s near the Spanish Steps. Edith was not only a writer but also a crusader against the “Thermopylae of bad taste”. Having written a book on interior decoration, she considered herself an expert and was having a grand time critiquing the décor of Rome’s most exclusive tea room. After looking around and shaking her head, Edith turned to me and said: ”Pleasantly proportioned rooms inspire a sense of calm and this room is making me nervous”. I, myself, found nothing wrong with it.  Maybe because I was concentrating on the little cake cart that was making the rounds.

Edith was more civil than cordial and dignified to the point of being stuffy. She believed in an elegance that only money could buy and, despite the fact that she had exposed the superficiality of High Society, I got the idea that Edith continued to write about class distinction because she herself could not go beyond it

When World War I broke out, Edith was living in Paris and quickly created employment for the skilled women living in her neighborhood who’d lost their jobs because of the war.  She also assumed the responsibility of giving a home to over 600 Belgian refugee orphans and even adopted some of them after the war. So even if she was a snob, Edith had my upmost respect. And I did find her conversation most stimulating especially her descriptions of the New York cultural scene. And when she told me that the Empire State Building had been completed and the Washington State Bridge opened, I knew it was time to go to New York.

It hadn’t been difficult to convince Hugh to go.  But crossing the Atlantic had been fatiguing especially for Hugh who suffered from sea sickness. When we finally arrived in our room at the Herald Square Hotel, we took a quick bath then went to bed.

Hugh and I were in a deep sleep when the screaming started. We jumped out of bed to see what was going on. In the hallway was an elderly lady screaming for help saying that her sister was dying. It didn’t take long for hotel security to show up and quickly take control of the situation. After tranquillizing all the guests who were out in the hall, Hugh and I went back to our room to continue sleeping.

The next morning when the maid came to clean, I could see she was animated and anxious to talk. So I discreetly lead her into conversation and learned that her animation was due to the elderly woman whose screams we’d heard yesterday. The woman’s name was Ida Mayfield Wood and she was 93 years old (but had incredible smooth skin because, as I later learned, of the petroleum jelly she rubbed on her face every day). When the hotel personnel and doctors went into Ida’s rooms, it was the first time anyone had done so in 25 years. They were shocked by what they found—a hoarder’s paradise. Boxes and boxes of junk were piled up everywhere leaving little room for moving around. Ida, unkempt and smelly (apparently she hadn’t had a bath in years), immediately started telling everyone just how wealthy she was but people just thought she was just wacko.  Lawyers came in and Ida was moved to another room so her own rooms could get a good cleaning.  And while the cleaning was going one, the truth of Ida’s words came out. Cash and jewelry were found stashed everywhere— hidden in crumb filled cracker boxes, sewn into dirty night gowns, and stuffed in rusty evaporated milk cans.

It didn’t take long for journalists to learn of the story and go wild with it. Unlike Edith’s Lily Bart, Ida had decided to give her destiny a new direction in part motivated by a gypsy fortune teller who said she was going to marry a very rich man. Ida moved to NYC at the age of 19 with precise intentions: Find a man with money. She decided on the wealthy 37 year old Benjamin Wood, Congressman and owner of the New York Daily Paper. That he was married didn’t bother her at all. Not being a part of Wood’s elite social circle, Ida had to come up with a plan to meet him. She did so by writing him a letter saying that one of his former lovers had informed her that Wood was looking for a new face and that maybe that new face was hers. An appointment was set up and the two met. Wood found Ida, despite her sad eyes, to be quite attractive and immediately engaged her as his mistress.  This went on for ten years until Wood’s wife died and he married Ida.

It hadn’t taken an Edith Wharton novel for Ida to understand social bias.  So she told Woods that her father was Henry Mayfield, a wealthy sugar planter in Louisiana and that her mother was a descendant of the Earls of Crawford. It was 1931 and the aftermath of the stock market crash could still be felt. People were desperate for money so it’s no wonder that over 400 people showed up claiming to be one of Ida’s heirs. One of the reasons why Ida had so much money was because after Wood’s death, a banker Ida knew told her he was concerned about the American financial situation. This freaked Ida out so she went to her bank and withdrew all her money and hid it in her hotel room. A pity others hadn’t followed her actions.

Then the truth came out about Ida’s true identity. Her real name was Ellen Walsh and she was the daughter of poor Irish immigrants. And maybe this can offer a partial explanation as to why Ida was a hoarder and lived in such miserable conditions despite her wealth. Hoarding is an obsessive-compulsive disorder that thrives on acquiring more than you need and the inability to let go of objects even if though you don’t need them. Because poverty is psychologically devastating. And, even if you are no longer poor, the imprinting of poverty never leaves you.

In The Age of Reconfiguration, decluttering is fundamental:

1. Decluttering helps you let go of the past so you can focus on the present and make room for the future.

2. Decluttering  helps you gain space you need for personal movement and for the flow of energy.

3. Decluttering  helps you gain time as  it’s easier to clean and easier to find things once order is established.

4. Decluttering creates a healthier environment as chaos provokes anxiety whereas  a pleasant environment is good for the mood.

5 .Decluttering lets you concentrate more as clutter is a distraction and makes your brain work harder.

As an artist, I use recycled and reclaimed materials that take up space. But, as opposed to a hoarder, I need and use these materials and try to keep them under control. Just call me a Baroque minimalist!

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Related: The Decoration of Houses by Ogden Codman and Edith Wharton online + The Legacy of Edith Wharton’s “The Decoration of Houses” + history of Babington’s Tea Room + Edith Wharton’s “Roman Fever” + Ida Wood + Brain Scans of Hoarders Reveal Why They Never De-Clutter + book by Joseph A. Cox, The Recluse of Herald Square on archive.org HERE

(from Cool Breeze, aka The Age of Reconfiguration ©)

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Insomnia

Hugh and I were sitting in a sleazy bar on Sunset Blvd drinking martinis. It was one of those “let’s see how the other half lives” nights.  I’d told Hugh that no book could teach him as much about people as simply observing them. I noticed this woman who had her eyes all over Hugh and when he got up to go to the men’s room, she followed. So I got up to stop her in her tracks and, with my killer stare, looked her in the eye and said “Don’t even think about it”.  At first she looked surprised then started laughing in this big husky voice. That mezzo-basso could only belong to one person–Tallulah Bankhead. Tallulah then looked me in the eyes and said:  Well Honey, I kinda like you, too.  And that’s how we became friends.

Of course there was no physical intimacy between us but we did enjoy one another’s company. Because companionship is better than sex. And I adored the stories she’d tell me about working with Hitchcock in The Lifeboat. Tallulah had enjoyed tormenting the cameraman by climbing the ladder to reach the tank where the filming took place with her panties off. The film crew would go wild and clap with glee.

Without a doubt, Tallulah loved attention but I’m sure it was because she had had so little of it growing up. She was fun, witty, and very generous to those in need.  I liked most everything about her save for her drug addiction.  Tallulah explained that she suffered from insomnia and thought drugs would help. But they didn’t so she would often ask some of her gay friends sit with her at night and hold her hand as she tried to fall asleep. Her fear of loneliness made her fear being alone.

Breaking away from an old lifestyle and creating a new one takes energy. So the most basic thing to do is get a good night’s sleep. Here are a few  suggestions if you suffer from insomnia: keep a regular bedtime schedule, exercise during the day, no alcohol before bed, no computer or electronic devices in the bedroom, read a pleasant novel to keep you from thinking negative thoughts, make sure your bedroom is airy, clean, quiet, and completely dark when the lights are turned off. And if all that fails, try a foot massage after a cup of valerian tea!

Foot massages improve blood circulation which means nutrients flow and toxins are eliminated. They also help remove lactic acid accumulation. And all of this de-stresses and facilitates falling asleep.

Begin by sitting upright with your foot on your lap. Then, using both hands, pull each toe apart from its neighboring toe (pulling one toe towards the front and the other towards the back). Pull for several seconds until you start, hopefully, to yawn. Then, after all toes have been pulled, put pressure on toe pads one by one. At one point, you should start yawning.  Completely massage one foot before doing the other. Remember, you want to make yourself yawn as much as possible.

Then the next step is to massage the acupressure point LV3 (the Great Rushing) located on the dorsal. To find the point, put your finger in between the first and second toe then slide down until you hit a depression. Press here and lightly massage for 4 – 5 seconds.

Now for the K1 point (the Bubbling Spring) found on the sole at the center of the indentation right below the ball of the foot. Press for several seconds, release then press again.

The more you yawn during the massage, the better you’ll sleep. The reasons why we yawn are still a mystery. But it seems obvious that by provoking deep breathing, yawns open up a flow of oxygen that liberates meridian blockage and releases tension. Yawns increase the levels of the neurotransmitters dopamine and serotonin thus making it easier for us to fall asleep.

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(from Cool Breeze, aka The Age of Reconfiguration ©)

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Roman Aesthetics

The Italian government is giving fiscal incentives for the ecological amelioration of buildings. Anxious to take advantage of the bonus, now Rome is full of condominiums covered in scaffolding such as the building across the street from where I live.

The other morning I noticed two young women on the scaffolding restoring the frescoed frieze full of doves and plants. It was exciting to see them working.

Doves in a Freize
doves in a frieze

Related: Frieze wikipedia + Bucrania, Classical Comments by Calder Loth +

drawing

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The Power of Intention

There’s a man in my life. His name is Hugh Breton and he’s a philosopher (remember the dude from the bookstore?). The word “philosopher” comes from the Greek word “φιλόσοφος “(philosophos) meaning “lover of wisdom”. It’s a term that somewhat confuses me as I didn’t know there was a special category for someone who liked wisdom. And after trying to read some of Hugh’s philosophy books, I can tell you I certainly did not feel any wiser afterwards.  Of course, all these philosophers are men and they take what we women call “common sense” and try to mystify it so they can then explain it to us. Ha!

Anyway, Hugh is a really sexy guy and, in the game of seduction, I pretend that everything he says is interesting. And actually some of it really is. For awhile Hugh was into the Stoics—stuff that really makes me yawn.  Everything save for the Morning Preview and Evening Review of the Day concept.

In The Golden Verses of Pythagoras, we’re told that once in bed, we shouldn’t even consider closing our eyelids until we’ve asked ourselves what we did during the day, if we did anything wrong, and did we leave any chore undone. And, if we did something wrong, we need to give ourselves a psychological spanking. Great advice if you’re into insomnia!

But it is a good idea to give your day an intention.  Because having an intention keeps you focused. It gives your energies a direction making it easier to move forward.

So now every evening I stick a note on the bathroom mirror to help me remember in the morning just what my intentions for the day are. And I keep track of my progress in a diary so that periodically I can review myself.

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(from Cool Breeze, aka The Age of Reconfiguration ©)

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Know Thyself

When standing in front of the mirror, who do I see?  Sometimes it’s her, sometimes it’s me.  Today Her was staring at Me. I said BOO! And she said BOO! too.  That’s when I realized that “Her” was actually me.

Boom! There are two of me. The one I used to be and the one I am now. Feeling out of sync, I decided to consult the Priestess Pythia and took a boat to Piraeus where I had a tough time getting a donkey for Delphi.

The odor of burning pine and laurel from the eternal fire inside Apollo’s Temple made me dizzy. I had difficulty reading the writing over the door: “Know Thyself.”

There was a long line of people drawing beans from a pot and you could ask Pythia a question only if you got a colored bean. My bean was red so the priest took my question to the priestess. She was sitting above a giant crack with fumes coming out of it. After inhaling some smoke, Pythia started talking and talking and talking.

Later a priest came to me with Pythia’s advice:  “Adapt and go on”.  Not exactly sure what the message meant, I asked one of the priests who, for a small extra charge, explained that any answers I needed were already inside of me. But, like a treasure hunt, I just had to look for them.

I felt ripped off. All the effort to get there just to get this cryptic response to my question. But I had no time to complain as the last donkey out of Delphi was about to leave.

Once home, I went to Feltrinelli’s for a self-help book. While consulting the clerk, this tall handsome dude blatantly eavesdropped. He came real close to me and suggested I read Pierre Hadot, an expert on Greek philosophy. Hadot believed that you had to liberate yourself from the past and try to Be Here Now. Because experience can only be created in the present.

Instead of buying a book, I decided to buy a diary to help me find the answers on my own. Remembering the words over the temple door, the first thing I wrote was: Who am I? But I didn’t know what to answer so I put my pen down. This “Know Thyself” gig was going to be tougher than I thought.

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Related: Diary Writing and other Spiritual Practices Bibliography: Hadot, Pierre. Philosophy as a Way of Life. Malden, Mass. Blackwell Publishing. 1995  

(from Cool Breeze, aka The Age of Reconfiguration ©)

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