Crumbs from a Cake

The day Marie Antoinette was beheaded, I was standing by the side of the road when the cart taking her to the guillotine passed by. People in the street were screaming insults and shaking their fists at her. She was dressed in a simple white chemise, her hands tied behind her back. The Queen’s hair had been cut off so it wouldn’t interfere with the executioner’s blade.

When the cart arrived at Place de la Revolution, Marie-Antoinette stepped down, without assistance, and slowly climbed the scaffold steps. After accidentally stepping on her executioner’s foot, she whispered to him: “Pardon me sir, I didn’t mean to.” Those were the last words of the last queen of France before putting her head on the butcher’s block.

Once decapitated, Marie Antoinette’s head was help up for all to see. The crowds went wild and ran to the scaffolding to dip their handkerchiefs in her blood.

“So this is a revolution”, I said to myself.

My name is Toni O and I knew Marie-Antoinette well. I met her while performing as an extemporaneous poet. In Italy, poetesses such as myself are known as “improvvisatrici.” To be an improvvisatrice, that is, an improviser, is to be a woman who knows how to adapt, who knows how to take what she has to meet her needs. Like a bricoleur, whose skill is that of taking what’s at hand to create something new, an improvisatrice takes her knowledge and experience to create and perform extemporaneous poetry. I was quite good and recited in such a way that even the stones could understand me.

In Italy, I am known as La Tonya maybe because of my fair skin and dark hair (my Irish mother always claimed that my coloring was the result of some survivor of the Spanish Armada mating with a local woman).  I was quite famous in Turin and thus often invited to perform in some of the best salons. It was here that I met Maria Teresa Luisa of the Savoia family who was pushed into marrying Prince de Lamballe, Louis XIV’s grandson. Oh what an unhappy marriage that was. The prince was such an arrogant rich womanizer who made his young wife suffer so much. But all that changed when he got a venereal disease and died. Ha, talk about Divine Justice! Princess de Lamballe was only 19. Finally, freed from her unpleasant husband, she was ready to begin a life of her own.

Now living in France, Princess de Lamballe cleverly used her title to be introduced in court.  She was promptly presented to Marie-Antoinette, now wife of the future King of France. Marie-Antoinette, always somewhat intimidated by members of the French court, felt at ease with the young princess from Turin. Maybe because Marie-Antoinette saw that they had something in common—they were both outsiders. The two women became close friends so Marie-Antoinette appointed the Princess de Lamballe as the superintendent of her household, the highest rank possible for a lady-in-waiting at Versailles, causing much irritation among the court’s many insignificant social climbers.

After Louis XVI became king, he gave his 19 year old wife the château, Petite Trianon, and its surrounding park. He, too, like his wife, found court life a bit suffocating and the Petite Trianon offered a breath of fresh air from the stuffy rituals and formalities of Versailles not to mention the backstabbing, petty, social climbers whose squalid gossip often made Marie-Antoinette ‘s life a chore. Being very fond of the performing arts, Marie-Antoinette had a theater built where she herself would act. All Marie-Antoinette wanted to do was to play and escape the hostilities of Versailles.

At Versailles, nothing was improvised. There were rules for everything even for getting up out of bed. Poor Marie-Antoinette. Every morning she was forced to go through The Levee, the get up out of bed ceremony: Around 8 a.m., specially appointed women come in to wake up the queen. A tub was then rolled into her room where royal bathers washed her then wrapped her in taffeta. Once back on her bed with a breakfast tray, court intimates were admitted just to watch the queen eat her meal. These kind of ceremonies and formalities went on all day long. Even the most intimate of acts was turned into public pomp. A royal reality show. So it isn’t difficult to understand why Marie-Antoinette escaped to her Petit Trianon whenever possible.

One day Marie-Antoinette was feeling particularly down. She wanted to break with the routine, to improvise, to play. ”Novelty is what I need,” she told Princess de Lamballe. Well, Novelty is my middle name so the princess told her about me and my extemporaneous recitations. That’s how I got invited to the Petit Trianon.

I did not have an easy childhood and from an early age learned the importance of adapting in order to survive. That’s why improvising as an actress and poet came quite easily to me.  Some improvisatrice work as street artists but I prefer performing in the homes of rich people who are perpetually bored so that anything out of their typical, futile routine makes them quiver with elation. As a performer, once in front of an audience easily drugged by entertainment, I would ask for a topic on which to base an extemporaneous poem. The other evening a young man, totally without imagination, looked at the fan I was holding and said “Fan, talk about your fan”. So I took my fan and made it dance in front of his face while reciting Pignotti’s related tale. After all the practice I’ve had, I know well how to play the coquette. For an hour without pause, I swished and swayed continually inventing myself along the way. My fan is magical, I whispered out loud, because all I have to do is shake it in my hand to have a cool breeze embrace me. And with that I began walking around the room to fan some worn out faces. Some men, unaccustomed to such audacity, tried to climb inside my eyes hoping for more. Then I would quickly close my eyes and flutter away.

Now that I have properly introduced myself, it’s time to get back to Marie-Antoinette.

(from “TONI O, The Beholder” 2021 ©)

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Related: Quanto era rigida (e affascinante) l’etichetta a Versailles + The Morning Routine of Marie Antoinette +  Joseph Campbell’s Woman Problem +

John Forsyth’s Remarks on Antiquities, Arts, and Letters, During an Excursion in Italy, in the Years 1802 and 1803 +

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Timeless

My name is Toni O. The O is for O’Brien.

I guess I owe my unusual existence to Oliver Cromwell. Under his command, the Brits invaded Ireland in 1649 radically altering Irish conditions of possibility. Cromwell hated Catholics and executed as many as he could. He also sent many little wee-ones to the sugar plantations in the West Indies. Depopulated, Ireland fell into the greedy hands of the Brits who systematically burned the land and its crops creating a food shortage. Irish Catholics were treated with distain. The laws for them were different than those for the Protestants creating severe economic hardships that led to hunger. This hunger went on for years. My mom was one of the hungry ones. She lived not far from the Streedagh beach and would often go foraging for food there. While pregnant with me, she nourished herself mainly on seaweed.

Algae kick-started life as we know it because, at a certain point, they began using water during photosynthesis consequently releasing oxygen permitting the evolution of organisms. So we probably wouldn’t be here now if it weren’t for algae.

Something magical happened because of my mom eating all that seaweed. I was born with a certain kind of antibody that slowed down my aging process. As I write this, I’ve been alive for 200 years. Now, in 2021, I am beginning to show the signs of aging. But before I die, I want to share important events that I was able to witness first hand.

The history that we’ve been taught is, for the most part, patriarchal propaganda meant to justify the unjustifiable. That’s why you ladies need to read this then get up, stand up for your rights, and don’t give up the fight!

(from “TONI O, The Beholder” 2021 ©)

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Related: ‘Shipped for the Barbadoes’: Cromwell and Irish migration to the Caribbean +  How Microscopic Algae Kick-Started Life As We Know It + The origins of life on Earth + Get up, stand up: Barbados leader Mia Mottley invokes Marley to goad U.N.

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Telling Untold Stories

There’s nothing like a cool breeze to help my mind relax. And the best breezes come from the sea.  So here I am sitting listening to the splashing sound of the waves as they hit the rocky shore. The Greeks have a special word for this sound, φλοισβος (flisvos), and, like a lullaby, it is slowly soothing my soul.

For years I’ve felt the weight of carrying around a box of Broken Dreams, dreams that I had hoped to glue back into place and somehow save. But now, after years of living and reliving my life, I have decided to throw this box of relics into the sea. Now New Dreams are needed to help us survive.

My name is Toni O and throughout the many lives I’ve lived, hope was always there by my side. But, unfortunately, the hopes I had for our home, this planet we call Earth, have now evaporated like a sweet perfume. We have gone past the Tipping Point and the damage done is irreversible. Despite the numerous and insistent warnings, man has chosen to ignore them. Dominated by his greed and his arrogance, he has put us all at risk.

The living world as we’ve known it is no longer able to sustain our avidity. Therefore, the only possible chance for our survival is to learn how to adapt to the disasters we’ve provoked. And throughout the ages, as a woman living in a patriarchal society, one thing I’ve learned to do is to adapt in order to survive.

The Earth is a Mother. And we are her children. Many ancient cultures worshipped the Great Cosmic Mother. Because worshipping a mother meant worshipping life itself. But, around the fourth millennium B.C., many things began to change. For example, warriors from the north began to invade peaceful cultures. These Indo-Europeans were violent and on horseback. Their aim was to invade, pillage, plunder and annihilate existing customs and beliefs. Male gods began to appear. These gods were angry, vindictive, jealous and punitive. And, above all, they hated women.

With force, these invaders dominated and sought to obliterate nature’s plan of having males and females exist in synergy and solidarity. Our complementary role was lost. The world was “materialized” with the concept of ownership and spiritual needs were met with dogma. Their desire and the desire of others like them to dominate without regard to the effect of their actions has put our planet and the life it sustains in danger. We now can only hope we are able to adapt in order to survive.

There is no set rule to adaptation as the situations that will arise will not have standard solutions. But we can start preparing ourselves—like an athlete warming up before the competition.  And one way to prepare is to develop an awareness as to who we are and what led us to this disaster. Because, in the words of philosopher George Santayana, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”

I have lived many lives and have seen many things. Now I am tired and ready to go but first I must share my stories, stories I have held within me for too long.

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” Maya Angelou

(from “TONI O, The Beholder” 2021 ©)

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Related: Empathy and Ecofeminism + The Role of Gender Consciousness in Challenging Patriarchy by Laura L. Bierema + Progressive Women: Feminist Consciousness in 19th century France +

Bibliography:

Lerner, Gerda. The Creation of Feminist Consciousness: From the Middle Ages to Eighteen-seventy. New York: Oxford University Press, 1993. 

Mor, Barbara and Sjoo, Monica. The Great Cosmic Mother: rediscovering the religion of the earth… on archive.org HERE

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Today’s Psychological Striptease

balcony from within

Since November 1st, the way I experience the world has drastically changed. I am still coming to terms with this new reality. My mind contaminates my body with its struggles.

I have the feeling that I am trying to go somewhere using an out-dated map creating a continual state of disorientation.

During this summer’s heatwave, I slept with my head at the foot of the bed to be nearer the balcony’s opened doors. The air made me feel less suffocated. However, if I had to get up during the night in total darkness, I had trouble orientating myself. I would automatically try to turn on the nightstand light as I always do only the nightstand wasn’t there. Often, in my own bed, I would panic wondering where I was simply because my point of reference had changed. Taken out of my normal context, I was lost.

This sensation of being out of place is now happening outside of my bed, too. I no longer know where I am in context to the rest of the world making orientation difficult. For example, I get really lost with certain reactions to Covid vax mandates. It seems half of the world refuses to acknowledge the other half of the world. Why?

We are Darwinian failures in terms of social evolution. I feel surrounded by amoebic beings who, instead of interrelating with others to create a healthy society, simply continue to reproduce themselves. And they are doing it at such a rapid pace that I am frightened that they will soon take over the planet. Maybe the apes will save us.

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Posted in Conditions of Possibility, female consciousness, Lifestyle, Paros | Tagged , , , , | 6 Comments

Bebina Bunny

Several years ago, I published an e-book, “Bebina Bunny’s Cabinet of Curiosities”, that’s about, as the title indicates, curiosities. Until recently the book has been for sale on-line but I recently uploaded it on Archive.org to make it available, for free, to anyone interested.

It’s my first time uploading on Archive so, hopefully, I didn’t make too many mistakes in doing so. But if you are interested, the book is available in mobi and pdf form. Just click on the link below.

BEBINA BUNNY’S CABINET OF CURIOSITIES

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